| Jun. 2nd, 2005 @ 11:00 am yeah, its me, again |
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Current Mood: im just kinda here ...
Current Music: nothing
Hey, whats going on in everyones life? Idk much about my own. Geez i really wish school would just end. sure, we only have 3 actual school days then exams, but still it sucks. and the waiting of it all makes me so mad. but yeah o well. atleast tomorrow will be an easy day for me i think... considering 1st and 2nd hour i have absolutly nothing to do... how great... er yeah something like that. but yeah. My mom doesnt work tonite, idk its not like i care if she works or not it doesnt phase me a bit either way. but yeah idc. The rummage sale this weekend should be kind of fun. my family always knows how to cheer me up. cept my mom, seriously do i always get yelled at for everything? yeah, i guess it doesnt matter in the end really. I mean its just stupid. i guess my brother is just the favorite or whatever, but i guess it doesnt bother me that much, i guess im a bad kid? yeah not really, im clean and i get good grades, and i still get yelled at, grrr! but yeah i guess thats how i live ... and it sucks but yeah . Sometimes i just wish i could go away, for good. i dont want to be here anymore with people who hate me, its not fun and its not right. i wanna fly away and never return, but then i think about it, im 15, and ive barely had a chance to live, so i might as well stay around for a while, i guess. I would never think of killing myself, so please dont get the wrong impression its more like i dont wanna be myself, cuz it never seems good enough for anyone. You know, ive tried to be a great kid, ive tried to do things to fit in er w.e i mean cmon who doesnt, no offence but doing dtuff like stealing and being this "rebel" thats not for me. Im more of a layed back person who is outgoing. I mean iam fun and all that i just dont do stupid shit. I just wish we were all young and innocent again, where you could run around and not care. be that lil person you used to be and not have to worry a bout doing something right or wrong. When life was so simple you could just be outside and it would be fun. But now its like nothing is fun. i used to go out a lot more and hang with my friends, i hardly even do that. my mom says i should see someone er something. cuz she says she noticed im sad all the time, i guess iam i mean my mood swings, ask anyone, im happy and hyper and the next minute im just depressed, not wanting to be here or around, wanting to go and lock myself in my room and never come out. becuz i know its better for me to be alone and miserable then to be with people and make them miserable. i mean its kind of a win win for people dont you think? yeah my point but yeah. It just seems like this world has gone crazy, i mean people are doing everything. and when you are in elementary school and they all tell you to be ware of peer pressure and tell you about drugs, the only thought going thru your mind at the point is prolly, " oh, this will never happen to me it wont" but the truth is it did. i may not be doing drugs or somthing like that but i know many of my friends who have changesd and are now smoking er something like that. It makes me realize that we arnt lil kids anymore. i mean all i want is to be able to have fun. Its really weird. like idk i always feel younger then everyone becuz i didint go to that cool party, er my mom just doesnt want me to do something. sure my mom reminds me of things wants me home at a reasonable hour. and when she tells me these things im thinking "oh god mother shut up, it doenst mattter ill be fine" but truth is she is telling me the truth, she just wants me to be safe and have a better life then she did. trust me iam having a better life, just how she wants me to. Im sorry but im just so sick n' tired of all this shit going on. I dont understand why my mom yells at me cuz like i get good grades and all that i just dont know ...
but yeah so anyway, i have a science test tomorrow sound exciting? idk its not that i really care about it er anything. but yeah im kinda hungry, its lunch next hour and i cant wait. But yeah the school day will not go by fast enough. 8th hour Chelsa and I have to sing our song thing for Mrs.Roberts, oh yeah im bursting with joy, er w.e. but yeah its not like i can really do anything about it in any way so i might as well just sing .. right? maybe ill skip 8th, but then i look at itand realize i couldnt do that, its just not my style. but yeah idk i have to walk home after school with my brother. it will be cool i getta talk to my brother, yay lol yeah idk but yeah
I hope this summer is good cuz if its not ill have to come back to school next year and complain BIG time, but yeah idk so yeah i dont have many summer plans but i do have some.
1.party (june 10th fer my moms step sis college grad thing)
2.6 flags in july sometime
3.another family party thing
4. idk, i hope to go upnorth er something
So yeah... not many big plans but enough to keep me busy, otherwise ill just sleep, thats always fun ... but yeah ...
I dunno, i only hope your life is better then mine ... |
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lilsugapie22308's journal
you know shit happens ..